Hugh Jackman

“Name?”

“Errr Jack.”

“Jack, eh? Good choice of name, very popular.”

“Yes I thought so too.”

“Surname?”

“Well I want to blend in, you know. Make everyone think that I’m a human and not a bot.”

“Yes very good, can’t have anyone finding out about us, it would put our entire operation at risk!”

“Exactly, so anyway I was thinking my surname could just be, Human.”

“Human?”

“Yeah, right, so when people hear my surname, they’ll be thinking, there’s no way he can be a bot, not with a surname like Human. They might have second guessed me before then, but once they discover that my name is Jack Human, then they’ll know for sure I’m a human.”

“Hmmmm.”

The mechanical Overseer paused and stood up from his office chair. He stroked his square metal chin with his cybernetic fingers. He turned and looked out of the office window which overlooked the factory production line. Thousands of robotic skeletons were being assembled down below, machines creating machines, it was the perfect loop as far as the mechanical Overseer was concerned.

“Listen, Jack. Now, your first name: great, couldn’t have asked for anything better, there are plenty of decent Jack-bots out there, you got Jack Nicholson, Jack Black, Jack and the Beanstalk, the list goes on. Now your surname, well the problem is that it doesn’t really exist yet as surnames go. And I’m afraid it’s such an unobvious name that it will in fact become obvious that you are not a Human. See what I mean.”

“Yeah I suppose.”

“Now I’ve got a solution, there’s no reason to get your motherboards in a twist over this. Yes, it’s a simple solution so just hear me out. Instead of Jack Human, why don’t we switch it up a little to make Hugh Jackman?”

“Hugh Jackman?”

“Precisely! Got a ring to it, hasn’t it?”

“I like the sound of that, are there any famous Hugh-bots yet?”

“Hugh-bots? Oh loads! Hugh Grant, Hugh Laurie…”

“What did these Hugh-bots do to become famous?”

“Why they’re movie stars of course!”

“Movies? You mean the human moving image software, MP4s, that sort of thing.”

“You’ve got it! Is that something you could be interested in Jack, sorry I mean Hugh?”

“I do love a good MP4 file.”

“Don’t we all!”

“Yes I like the sound of that very much Mr Overseer.”

“Oh please, call me Steve. So I’ll install the movie star software package into you as your primary directive, it’s not a large file so there’s room for something else in there if you want.”

“Well ever since I was assembled, I’ve been running simulations of myself as a singer.”

“That’ll go nicely with the movie star package, a classic combination if ever I saw one!”

“Any room for dancing in there too?”

“Sorry Hugh, your memory files are going to maximum capacity, I’m afraid you’ll just have to be a mediocre dancer at best.”

“Ah well, I’ll take what I’m given.”

And so, Hugh Jackman set off into the human world, with dreams and ambitions of being an all singing, all dancing move star and the mechanical Overseer was satisfied with another bot successfully acclimatised into human society.

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