Writing exercise: Writing dialogue

Brief: Write a scene in which there are two people. One person is highly sophisticated, posh and is in a position of power.

The other person is uneducated and has no power, they must try to convince the person in power to change their mind over something.

For added hilarity, swap the implied accents around. (So for example, the posh dialogue sounds common)

 

“Good Morning Mr Bland”

“Alright, who’s this then?”

It’s Mr Beaumont from the office,

“Ah yeah what’s the matter?

“What’s the matter is that you are not in work today Mr Bland.”

“Ah right yeah well you see…”

“This is your third transgression of the financial year and I’m certain that you are very well aware that 3 counts of violation against company protocol results in an automatic suspension. Are you not aware of this Mr Bland?”

“Now right look Mr Bowmont, I don’t know nothing about no “violations” but there’s a proper good explanation for why I ain’t in work today.”

“And that is?”

“It’s me dog Mr Bowmont, sir.”

“Well it weren’t feeling too well so I brung it to the vets and you’ll never guess what was wrong with it Mr Bowmont sir, you’re never gonna believe this.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Turns out my dog was proper pregnant and I mean like well proper, which is mental cos I never knew that my dog was even a girl dog, I thought she was a boy dog you see. I mean I guess that makes sense cos I always thought that he was just gay cos he was proper interested in my mate Stanley’s dog Ripper”

“Simply riveting story Mr Bland but I’m afraid that is not a legitimate excuse and I am going to have no choice but to let you go.”

“Aw please Mister Bowmont sir, you can’t fire me now, not now I’ve got puppies on the way.”

“Regardless of the fact I’m afraid that there is nothing more to be discussed, good day Mr Bland.”

 

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