A writing exercise: Franz Kafka I

The task:

1) Write the opening of a piece in which a character awakes to find that something impossibly extraordinary has happened to them overnight – and then decides to go to work as normal. Your opening should contain redundant words it should also involve symbolic hints to the reader of psycho-sexual depths unknown to the protagonist.

Brian Presley woke to find his hands no longer fit his gloves and his feet no longer fit his boots. This is entirely due to the fact that while dreaming sweet dreams in bed, Brian had turned into a penguin. He slid out his bed on his oily belly and fetched his slippers, his webbed feet slipped out of them as he unsuccessfully secured them with his lack of toes. The clock on the wall read 10 o clock and he was late for work. No time for a shower, so he did his best to put on his shirt and trousers but alas, he could not keep his pants on. “To hell with this!” Brian shrieked as he waddled out of the bedroom and made for the stairs. Stairs become an awful lot more tricky when your legs are stumpy and feet are webbed, so Brian did what any penguin would do in this situation and slid down the banister on his belly, landing with a satisfying plop at the bottom of the stairs. “No time for toast this morning!” Brian squawked to no one at all, he did unfortunately have an ungodly craving for raw fish. Brian doubted his ability to reach the bus in time and so hopped his way towards the river Thames down the street, “Time to put these flippers to good use

!” he chirped. Brian slithered down the murky banks of the river and shot off to work like a bullet from a gun, he even managed to snag a few mouthfuls of fish on the way.

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